JOURNEY INTO THE DIVINE WILL

From The Writings of Servant of God Luisa Piccarreta

Vol. 2 – September 30, 1899

How patience in suffering temptations is like a nourishing food.

Earlier I spent more than one hour of hell. I went about looking, in passing, at the image of Baby Jesus and a thought, like lightning, said to the Baby: ‘How ugly you are!’ I tried not to pay attention to it and not to become disturbed, so as to avoid some game with the devil. Yet, in spite of this, that diabolical lightning penetrated into my heart, and I felt that my poor heart was hating Jesus. Ah! yes, I felt I was in hell, keeping company with the damned – I felt love changed into hate! Oh! God, what pain, being unable to love You!

I said: ‘Lord, it is true that I am not worthy to love You, but at least accept this pain – that I would want to love You, but cannot.’

So, after spending more than one hour in hell, it seemed I got out of it, thank God. But who can say how afflicted and weakened my poor heart was left, because of the war fought between hate and love? I felt such prostration of strengths that I seemed to have no more life. Then I was caught by my usual state, but – oh, how worn-out! My heart and all of my interior powers which, with unspeakable yearning, desire and go in search of their highest and only Good, and when they find Him, only then do they stop and enjoy Him to their greatest contentment, this time did not dare to move. They were so annihilated, confused and sunken in their nothingness, that they would not let themselves be heard. Oh! God, what a cruel blow my heart had to suffer!

In spite of this, my always benign Jesus came, and His consoling sight made me forget immediately that I had been in hell, so much so, that I did not even ask Jesus forgiveness. The interior powers, humiliated and tired as they were, seemed to rest in Him. Everything was silence; on both sides there was nothing but a few loving gazes that wounded each other’s heart.

After remaining in this profound silence for some time, Jesus told me: “My daughter, I am hungry, give Me something.” And I: ‘I have nothing to give You.’ But at that very instant I saw a loaf of bread and I gave it to Him, and He seemed to eat it with all pleasure. Now, in my interior I kept saying: ‘He hasn’t told me anything for a few days.’ And Jesus answered my thought: “Sometimes the groom is pleased to deal with his bride, and to entrust his most intimate secrets to her; other times, then, he delights with greater pleasure in resting, as they contemplate each other’s beauty. Speaking impedes resting, and the mere thinking of what one has to say and of what one has to deal with, diverts one’s attention from looking at the beauty of the groom or of the bride. However, this is needed; in fact, after they have rested and comprehended each other’s beauty more, they come to love each other more, and with greater strength they enter the field again to work, to deal with and defend their interests. This is what I am doing with you. Aren’t you happy?”

After this, a thought flashed through my mind about the hour spent in hell, and immediately I said: ‘Lord, forgive me – how many offenses I gave You.’ And He: “Do not want to afflict or disturb yourself; it is I who leads the soul deep into the abyss, to then be able to lead her more swiftly to Heaven.” Then He made me comprehend that loaf of bread that I found was nothing other than the patience with which I had borne that hour of bloody battle. Therefore, patience, humiliation, and offering to God what one suffers in time of temptation, is a nourishing bread that one gives to Our Lord, which He accepts with great pleasure.

Scripture Meditation- ² Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)

Prayer Reflection- O Lord we bless You, we praise You, and we adore You because even in our trials, even when You lead us into other abyss, You always lead us out if we are patient offering all to You in times of temptation. Fiat Lord!