JOURNEY INTO THE DIVINE WILL

Vol. 3 – June 24, 1900- The cross is the nourishment of humility.

After going through a few days of privation – at the most, a few shadows and flashes – I felt all of my powers asleep, in such a way that I myself could not understand what was happening in my interior. In this sleepiness, only one pain was awake in my interior; and it was this: it seemed it had happened to me as to one who, while sleeping, loses his sight or is deprived of all his riches. So, the miserable one can neither grieve, nor defend himself, nor use some means to free himself of his misfortunes. Poor one, in what a pitiful state he finds himself! But what is the cause of it? His sleep. Because if he had been awake, he would certainly have known how to defend himself well from his misfortunes. Such is my miserable state; it is not given to me even to let out a moan, a sigh, or to shed one tear, because I have lost sight of the One who is all my love, all my good, and who forms all my contentment. It seems that in order not to make me grieve from His privation, He made me fall asleep and left me. Ah! Lord, wake me up Yourself, that I may see my miseries, and know at least of what I am being deprived.

Now, while I was in this state, from within my interior I heard blessed Jesus, who was moaning continuously. Those moans wounded my hearing, and waking up a little bit, I said: ‘My sole and only Good, from your moans I perceive the state, too painful, in which You find Yourself. This happens because You want to suffer alone and do not want to let me share in your pains; even more, so as not to have me in your company You made me fall asleep and You left me without letting me understand anything any more. I understand where all this comes from: it is so that You may be more free in chastising. But, O please! have compassion on me, for without You I am blind; and on Yourself, for it is always good in all circumstances to have someone who would keep You company, who would relieve You, and somehow break your fury. In fact, now You are determined and You send scourges, but when You see your images perish from misery, You will let out more moans than now, and perhaps You will say to me: “Ah! if you had tried harder to placate Me, if you had taken the pains of creatures upon yourself, I would not see my own members so tormented!” Isn’t it true, my most patient Jesus? O please! relieve Yourself a little bit, and let me suffer in your place!’

While I was saying this, He moaned continuously, almost in act of wanting to be compassionated and relieved; but He wanted this relief to be snatched from Him almost by force. So, after my importunity, He stretched out His nailed hands and feet in my interior and shared a little bit of His pains with me. After this, giving a little respite to His moans, He told me: “My daughter, it is these sad times that force Me to this, because men have grown so bold and proud, that everyone thinks he is the god of himself; and if I do not lay hand to the scourges, I would do harm to their souls, because the cross alone is the nourishment of humility. So, if I did not do it, I Myself would cause them to lack the means to be humiliated and to surrender from their strange madness, even though the majority of them offends Me more. But I act like a father who breaks the bread for all to be nourished, a bread which some of his children do not want to take; even more, they use it to throw it in their father’s face. What has the poor father done wrong? So I am. Therefore, compassionate Me in my afflictions.” Having said this, He disappeared, leaving me half-awake and half-asleep, I myself not knowing whether I have to wake up completely, or go back to sleep.

Scripture Meditation-  “and he who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:38)

“looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Prayer- O Lord we love You, we bless You and we glorify You! Lord it can be hard to wrap our heads around it but the cross alone is the nourishment of humility. We can be our own little gods when it is going well and often it takes suffering for us to call out to You and realize our nothingness and our dependence on You~. Lord Jesus may we keep our eyes on You who endured the cross for us knowing that You will never leave us if we turn to You in humble trust!